Monday, March 31, 2008

Thoughts on another sleepless night ..

I am not religious.
I do not believe in religions.

I am not spiritual.
I do not believe in soul.

I do not believe in god.
I deny the existence of god.

BUT, I am all for living with ethics, ethics which tell me how to live with out disturbing other living beings.

I think it's perfectly possible to live with out believing in a system of religions/gods AND have ethics to lead one's life. I DO NOT need a fear of eternal pain full life in hell, to live without causing much pain to my surrounding Eco system.

I think that the god/religions/spirits are few of the biggest jokes ever told.

It's all in the mind. Mind of a intricate system that makes a human.

I think human mind is the most complex system that the nature has built. It simply evolves with it's surroundings. Mind incorporates what it sees, hears, feels. As the time moves it molds according to the experience it had. That's why we see so many different views, arguments, opinions. NONE of them are wrong. Deep down inside those views are from the mind which believes what it has seen / heard/ felt so far and the conclusions it has drawn from those experiences.

The biggest problem with the mind is it's not ready to look at the world with a point of view other than it's own.

Once a mind is able to see the world with a view other than it's own, it's a beginning of a disaster, the whole belief system which it has built, crumbles down. There will be arguments, reasonings within the mind to reach a conclusion, to find an equilibrium.

To look at things with more than one point of view, one should understand who they are, what is the significance of their existence in the whole universe. But the time a person can figure out these, if at all, most of the time it will be too late. There will be already a alternate universe they had learnt. To unlearn this alternate world they are living in so far, takes quite an effort. It's not easy. There will be confusions, disbelief and resistance.

There can be mistakes, there will be mistakes. It's a constant learning effort to find what is truth. The line between truth and lie, correct and incorrect,right and wrong is a faded one. And it's very subjective.

When I found out that I am nothing but an animal living in a tiny planet that revolves around a mid-sized star, which intern is a part of a collection of billions of such stars, it was tough to understand it. And there are billions of other such collections. Heck, it was the time for suicide. The realization of a truth that I am not any special being but just another creature was very very depressing.

But then, then came another point of realization. Realization that I can take my life at any time I wanted. I HAVE the control on my death if I wanted. Isn't that comforting? That was the time I realised I can do some things that can make me feel special, special in my own way, that I don't have to explain it to others. I think it differs person to person what makes them feel special. For me, spending a day without feeling that I am just another tiny, insignificant creature is special.

But all these arguments can be very wrong. It's just my way of looking at the things. An understanding that lets me believe that this life is worth living another day and so on ... I very well understand that on a moment of helplessness, despair and powerlessness I might throw away all my beliefs, just to get some help. Heck, I might contradict myself in this very blog. It all depends, depends on the situations I might go through, experiences I will encounter. To hold on to my current views it needs a strong belief, understanding.

Not sure if I am there yet.

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Well ...

Between the countless number of iisresets and waiting for server cache to load up, I managed to do nothing. In fact, that's exactly what I am doing right now. Waiting for that damned server cache. On a Sunday.

No fun.