Saturday, December 16, 2006


It's 11 AM. Cubicle two rows next to him is still empty.
Is she on leave today? Is something wrong?

She is very pretty. Atleast for him. The curly short hair, sparkling shine in the eyes... He found them very sweet. Very very sweet.

He could still remember the day he met her. In a team meeting.

It was raining. Heavy mansoon rain. He came late to the meeting. His clothes were wet. A sheepish grin on the face, He uttered a couple of words of apology...

"This is Sandhya, new member of our team..." Thats all he heard... He was lost in the worls where there were only him and Sandhya...

"This is Arun. BackBone of our Development team..." He came back... Again a sheepish grin...It took couple of seconds for him to utter "Hello..."

Just what the Doctor ordered. Training her on the new application became his responsibility. Usual "I-Hate-Giving-Training" guy took a U-turn to "I-Am-All-For-Spreading-Knowledge" Guy.

He took great interest in the training, in her, rather... Did she notice it?
She was bright. Training was over in a week. After that she seldom spoke to him.

It was just "Hi, Good Morning..."
"Hi, Hows work?" all the time...

He wanted to know more about her. Her interests. Her life. everything... anything...

"Are you alright Dude?" Question from the guy in the next cubicle...
Sheepish Grin again... "Fine, Just kinda sleepy... hehehe..." Stupid people, will never leave you alone...


No signs of her.
Even the code he was scribbling didn't show any signs of moving to the next line...

For too long he has been alone. But he is not desperate. He could wait.
For too long he has been waiting. But he ain't giving up. He could wait.

Days seem very long. Code that he needs to finish seems very long. The World is meaning less. Isn't it?

"Hi, Morning"... He looked up... there she was, wishing someone near the door...
That smile, Sparkle in the eyes, small sweat drops on the forehead... He came back to life. Again.

He smiled at her. She smiled back. He watched her till she sat in her chair.

There was Spring in the air. Suddenly Life had all the meaning.

"Oh there it is. Missing quotes..." He showed the mistake in the code to the Guy in the next Cubicle.

The Same story repeats every day. Will he ever ask her out? Will ever Sun meet Dusk?
Well, I just wish them luck.


stars, stars everywhere
Bright stars, Shining stars...
Small Stars, Big Stars...
Red Stars, Blue stars...

Will they ever Fall?
Will they ever Fly?
Will they ever Laugh?
Will they ever Cry?

Do they fight with each other?
Do they kiss one another?

Can you get me one star?
A tiny, shiny star for Me?

I need a star. I want a star.

I want to be a shining star...


I love being alone. Most of the time. Other times, when I don't like it, I cry.

I don't get attached to people easily. I don't regret that.

The Only living being that I've loved very much and miss is my dog "Danny". I miss it very much.

When my friends call me, then tell that they called "just like that", I irritated. A lot. Well, not many people call me anyway.

I probably stay alone at home, rather than hanging out with friends.
I don't like gathering. I get irritated at the functions, parties or any kind of gathering. I usually avoid them.

Well, the only gathering I like is Rock concerts. That reminds me, I am not going to the "Deep Purple" Concert. Why? Just like that.

I just now observed. There is too much of "me" in this post.

I know, I know. I don't have life.

I am a Creep, I am a weirdo...
What the hell I am doing here...
I don't belong here....

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

What is democracy?

The cerebrum has suffered massive and irreparable damage
You can never know what has happened to him
If I have not been sure of this, I would not have permitted him to live
Where am I?
What happened?
I need help
What is democracy?
What is democracy?
It got something to do with young men killing each other, Arthur
When it’s comes my turn, will you want me to go?
For democracy, any man would give his only begotten son

It is impossible for any severed individual to experience pain
Dreams or thought of any kind
This young man will be as unfeeling
As unthinking as the dead
Until the day he joins them

I don’t know weather I’m alive or dreaming or dead or remembering
How can you tell what’s a dream and what’s real
When you can’t even tell when you’re awake and when you’re asleep

Where am I?

I can’t remember anything
Can't tell if this is true or dream
Deep down inside I feel to scream
This terrible silence stops with me

Now that the war is through with me
I'm waking up, I cannot see
That there's not much left of me
Nothing is real but pain now

Hold my breath as I wish for death
Oh please God, wake me

They kept my head and chopped off everything
Oh god, please make them hear me
They won’t listen, they won’t hear me
They got to wake me up I’ll be like this for years
Hear me

Back in the womb it's much too real
In pumps life that I must feel
But can't look forward to reveal
Look to the time when I'll live

Fed through the tube that sticks in me
Just like a wartime novelty
Tied to machines that make me be
Cut this life off from me

Hold my breath as I wish for death
Oh please God, wake me

It’s like a piece of me that keeps on living
It won’t always be like this, will it?

I can’t live like this!
I-I can’t!
Please no
I can’t! I can’t!
Help me, help me, help me!
Mother where are ya?
Mommy, mother, I’m having a nightmare and I can’t wake up

Now the world is gone I'm just one
Oh God help me

Hold my breath as I wish for death
Oh please God, help me

Me lying here like, like some freak in a carnival show
Here is the armless
Wonder of the twentieth century

Death has a dignity of its own
I need help
I’m in terrible trouble and I need help
Don’t you remember when you were little?
How and you and Bill Harper use to string a wire between the two houses
So you could telegraph to each other
You’ll remember the Morse code

Imprisoning me
All that I see
Absolute horror
I cannot live
I cannot die
Trapped in myself
Body my holding cell

It’s Morse code
For what?

Has taken my sight
Taken my speech
Taken my hearing
Taken my arms
Taken my legs
Taken my soul
Left me with life in Hell

What’s he saying?
Said kill me
Over and over again
Kill me
Oh god, please make them hear me
Don’t you have any message for him Arthur?
He’s the product of your profession
Not mine

Kill me
I’m asking you to kill me

Thank you

Save me please

Each man faces death by himself
Good-bye father

Inside me I’m screaming nobody pays any attention
If I had arms, I could kill myself
If I had legs, I could run away
If I had a voice, I could talk and be some kind of company for myself
How do I know they’ll kill me?
I could yell for help, but nobody’d help me
I just got to do some kind of, see how I can go on like this

S.O.S. help me
S.O.S. help me

Keep the home fires burning
While our hearts are yearning

Metallica - One

Sunday, December 03, 2006


No new mails in the mail box...
No calls from Mom...
No new blogs from my favourite bloggers...

Can't seem to find anything new right now...
Weather is very chill these days... I don't like it... May be because I don't have a single drop of FAT in my body :(

I seem to have a problem with eating. Either no one knows to cook better, or I, have lost all my appetite. Latter seems correct :(
Looking forward for "Deep Purple" Concert. I am not a huge fan of them. But I like a few songs.
"Smoke on the water" has one of the best intro riff in the Rock music :-)

Just listened to the song again, can't wait to for the *live* music :p
I need to explore the world

Tuesday, November 14, 2006


That's what I always say when I am in trouble... "mummy"

CAT ---> Coming Sunday.

Assignment in Office ---> Way, nope, waaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy behind schedule :-(

How am I suppose to manage??


Sunday, November 12, 2006


Last week!!!

Sunday had a release... Tueday morning Volume testing in Production Environment...
For my luck, rather lack of it, Test failed...
Come again, Wednesday morning... Test again fails... I was getting frustated. Problem was with my local test box, rather than the applications...
Thursday morning... Couldn't run the test at all...
Friday Morning again couldn't run the test... So Test postponed to Friday evening.

Thank goodness, "somehow" the run went fine...
Fine? heck, I was almost about to raise an alert for the traffic I induced in production :-)

Totally, only 4 x 4 = 16 hours of sleep for 4 freaking days!!! Actually was in straight 27 hours in office in between :-(

I could see the frustation growing, me losing the concentration... On Friday made all the silly mistakes during the test. Not good.

Bought new adidas shoes... sholud have bought a little bigger shoes... hopefully they should get expanded...

My left leg's figer are in pain...
Same story, whenever I buy new shoes...

Reminds me my NCC days... Ha... those NCC shoes...!!!


One of my favourite past time : sitting on the bench near the big playground near my home, and watch all the kids play... on a Sunday Morning...

It's not very big, not too small, irregular shaped ground. On sunday morning *atleast* 15-20 small teams will be playing in that ground. Mostly Cricket.

Love watching those kids playing.... reminds me my childhood. I used to play Cricket. I used to bowl, bat and the best I like in Cricket, fielding. I didn't suck though


Next Weekend I have CAT exam. I am just writing for some experience. No hopes at all. I can only blame myself. Got too much involved in Office works in the last 2-3 months...

now I am wondering If management is good for me... even Consulting for that matter...

Confusion never stops.Life never fails in astonishing me.

Some one told me... "Life is a game. The day you feel it's not, you are dead" [sic]


Monday, November 06, 2006


"Its not working!!!"

"I think that application is down..."

"You sure it's not the data problem?"

"Ok... we have an issue"

"Where is the results of the previous run?"

"How about changing that? ok I will try that... you go ahead with your data..."

Time ticks away....

"Guys.. do we have any update?"


"We are working on the issue..."

"Hey... Its working now!!!!!!!"

Clapps... Congratulations... Smiles all around... Sigh of relief from everybody...

"What actually went wrong?"

"I don't care, It's 2 AM now!!! me sleepy..."

Typical production sundays....

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Well, Whatever...

Oh.. I almost forgot.

I don't live in Bangalore any more. I am living in Bengalooru/Bengaluru.

Duh!! WTF...

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Fix you...

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
High up above or down below
when you too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just what your worth
Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears streaming down your face and I
Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face and I
Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

What a Pity...

Today is Novmber 1st.
That means, "Karnataka Rajyothsava", Karnataka celebrates its 50th anniversary of its formation as a state in India.

I am in Ofice, though its an official holiday...

Funny thing I noticed...

"Eee dina karnataka Rajyothsava prayuktha raje ghoshisalagide"
"Jai Kannada, Jai Karnataka"

Those were the sign boards hanging at my office's gate :-)

You know why?
Else these the members of "Kannada hitasakthi samithi" or something similar to that will throw stones at your office, specially if it is an IT office... ( Isn't it fun to throw stones on a building with glass walls?)

Similar things were seen during the recent bundh in Karnataka.

What does it mean?
People are forced to love Kannada, at least pretend/act like they do.

I agree, Bangalore is bombarded with people from all over the country because of this IT thingy... Kannadigas feel so insecure in their own Capital, that they have to force the junta to love Kannada.

I don't know if same happens in other states...

Kannada... What a Pity.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006


Untill and unless you were in a similar situation, you will never be able to really console/advice a friend.

Can ya?

In such a case,
Will you pretend that you understand the problem and console...
Will you just tell that you are not the right person... Will that person understand you?
Is it necessary that you have to solace a friend everytime no matter what?

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Just A Question...

Saw this question while editing the "About Me" in Blogger...

If you could peer far enough into the night sky, you'd
see a star in any direction you looked. When would you sleep?

My Answer? I won't...

What a start!!!!

Man... what a start for the day... Call from J woke me up... It was 11 AM...

Took bath, ready to go to Office... Voila.. No petrol in Bike... What the hell, i just filled the tank two days ago...
Little inspection... there you go... No petrol pipe!!! Did Somebody steal it??
Took the bike to near by Bike service centre...The petrol pipe was pulled off. The best part is, who ever did that, that &*^% idiot, hid the pipe somewhere inside that engine block...

"Saar, change house saar, find a house with the parking space" came the advice.
He is also correct, I park my bike on Road.. Dont have a luxury of Parking space in the house I rented :-(

Well, I am not sad because I lost 250-300 bucks, but, How can this happen to *me* ???
you know, *I* am supposed to be, I mean.. ok whatever...

Came to office at 12:30... Still haven't started to work :-)

Songs I listened to, today :

Creep - Radiohead
Awake - Godsmack
One - Metallica
I Stand Alone - Godsmack
Sappy - Nirvana
Black hole sun - SoundGarden

Right now: Coming Back to Life - Pink Folyd

Hopefully this song should cheer me up!!!!!!!!

That Little Brat and His Tiger...

I just love Calvin and Hobbes...

I have almost all the strips of it (in my Comp... Currently it is missing it's Hard Disk)

I don't remember when exactly I started reading it... Wait, I do!!!

It was at my uncle's place. He had a collection of Calvin and Hobbes. Couple of strips, I had become a fan of it...

Why I love both of them so much?
I think it's the amazing imagination of Calvin. ( "SpaceMan Spiff", "Stupendous Man" and "Tracer Bullet" series, WOW ...)

I mean, come on... he travels around 12-13 planets as SpaceMan Spiff...

Hobbes, his Tiger, is the cutest animal in the cartoon Kingdom I think...

Few quotes from Calvin which I love... Makes me laugh any time:

“My brain always rejects attitude transplants”

“Life's a lot more fun when you're not responsible for your actions”

“In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.”

“It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.”

“Reality continues to ruin my life”

“Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has ever tried to contact us.”

“The problem with people is that they don’t look at the big picture. Eventually, we’re each going to die, our species will go extinct, the sun will explode, and the universe will collapse. Existence isn’t only temporary, it’s pointless! We’re all doomed, and worse, nothing matters!”

“You know how people are. They only recognize greatness when some authority confirms it”

"I'm sick of everyone telling me what to do all the time! I hate my life! I hate everything! I wish I was DEAD! Aaah… Well, no I don't. Not really. I wish everyone ELSE was dead."

“People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.”
Gem Of all...

“I have plenty of common sense. I just choose to ignore it"
Thank you Bill Waterson...

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Testing Testing...

Today is Saturday...
I am at office...
My work is *way* behind schedule...
I am supposed to be working right now...

Here I am, creating a new Blogger account... Writing this post...

Voila... my *FiRsT* post...

Thank you Thank you...