Monday, March 31, 2008

Thoughts on another sleepless night ..

I am not religious.
I do not believe in religions.

I am not spiritual.
I do not believe in soul.

I do not believe in god.
I deny the existence of god.

BUT, I am all for living with ethics, ethics which tell me how to live with out disturbing other living beings.

I think it's perfectly possible to live with out believing in a system of religions/gods AND have ethics to lead one's life. I DO NOT need a fear of eternal pain full life in hell, to live without causing much pain to my surrounding Eco system.

I think that the god/religions/spirits are few of the biggest jokes ever told.

It's all in the mind. Mind of a intricate system that makes a human.

I think human mind is the most complex system that the nature has built. It simply evolves with it's surroundings. Mind incorporates what it sees, hears, feels. As the time moves it molds according to the experience it had. That's why we see so many different views, arguments, opinions. NONE of them are wrong. Deep down inside those views are from the mind which believes what it has seen / heard/ felt so far and the conclusions it has drawn from those experiences.

The biggest problem with the mind is it's not ready to look at the world with a point of view other than it's own.

Once a mind is able to see the world with a view other than it's own, it's a beginning of a disaster, the whole belief system which it has built, crumbles down. There will be arguments, reasonings within the mind to reach a conclusion, to find an equilibrium.

To look at things with more than one point of view, one should understand who they are, what is the significance of their existence in the whole universe. But the time a person can figure out these, if at all, most of the time it will be too late. There will be already a alternate universe they had learnt. To unlearn this alternate world they are living in so far, takes quite an effort. It's not easy. There will be confusions, disbelief and resistance.

There can be mistakes, there will be mistakes. It's a constant learning effort to find what is truth. The line between truth and lie, correct and incorrect,right and wrong is a faded one. And it's very subjective.

When I found out that I am nothing but an animal living in a tiny planet that revolves around a mid-sized star, which intern is a part of a collection of billions of such stars, it was tough to understand it. And there are billions of other such collections. Heck, it was the time for suicide. The realization of a truth that I am not any special being but just another creature was very very depressing.

But then, then came another point of realization. Realization that I can take my life at any time I wanted. I HAVE the control on my death if I wanted. Isn't that comforting? That was the time I realised I can do some things that can make me feel special, special in my own way, that I don't have to explain it to others. I think it differs person to person what makes them feel special. For me, spending a day without feeling that I am just another tiny, insignificant creature is special.

But all these arguments can be very wrong. It's just my way of looking at the things. An understanding that lets me believe that this life is worth living another day and so on ... I very well understand that on a moment of helplessness, despair and powerlessness I might throw away all my beliefs, just to get some help. Heck, I might contradict myself in this very blog. It all depends, depends on the situations I might go through, experiences I will encounter. To hold on to my current views it needs a strong belief, understanding.

Not sure if I am there yet.

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Well ...

Between the countless number of iisresets and waiting for server cache to load up, I managed to do nothing. In fact, that's exactly what I am doing right now. Waiting for that damned server cache. On a Sunday.

No fun.






Sunday, February 24, 2008

Near perfect ...

way to disturb the peace of mind: Watch "Apocalypto" till late night, then listen to "My Dying Bride" and "Anathema" endlessly in a loop...
 
If that doesn't work, watch some other movie in the similar lines ...
 
Peace

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Why ...

there is no "restart" button? why why why ? That must be a missing requirement. Or may be the developer missed it, or somebody thought everything will go smooth.
I don't know, but I just need that goddamn button. But I know, I ain't gonna get it.

Friday, January 25, 2008

What's Up MAC!!!



M
Ma
Mac
MacB
MacBo
MacBoo
MacBook
MacBookP
MacBookPr
MacBookPro !!!




Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Materialistic ...

The Problem with the $money$ is, it's nice to keep it, but too hard to give away, especially if whatever in return you get is not tangible ...

Friday, January 18, 2008

Being Happy ...

is easy, just find a convenient definition of "happy" ...

Monday, January 14, 2008

"When I was/am/have/will/ etc etc ... "

Have you paid some attention to people when there a group of them talking/chatting ??

Most of the sentences start with something like

"when I ..."
"Once I was ..."
"I had ..."
"I will ..."

It's all about "I", "Me" and "Myself"

They just seem not to get bored with themselves !

I wonder why. Well, it has to be, methinks.

When it reaches a point, I just pretend like I got a call, mutter something like 'sorry ...', try my best to walk away :)
That's one of the reasons I like the cellphone :)


PS: I tried my best to not to mention "I" in the post, it seems there is no better joy other than talking about myself. He He ... :D

Thursday, January 10, 2008

I am so ...

tired right now, I don't even feel tired anymore ...

He he he, I just read what I typed, feel like a jackass :-)

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Unimaginable ...

It was just another lazy Sunday afternoon. I had just left home, heading to my uncle's place for lunch. That's the best part of weekends, I can go to my relatives place and have yummy lunch :)

So, I was on my bike, dodging through the usual Sunday traffic on DVG road. I wasn't going too fast or neither slow. If you ever been on that road, you would definitely know how narrow that road is and how the pedestrians walk on the road instead of "oh so lovely footpaths". And not to mention the parking on the one side of the road.

Everything was fine, I was occasionally looking at the big cars parked and their owners wearing shiny sunglasses. I just couldn't figure out why would people buy such big cars and drive them in these narrow roads, then fight in the middle of the road for the occasional scratches 'cause of the minor accidents.

Anyways,I was somewhere near the junction next to 'Ice Thunder' and suddenly a woman almost ran into my bike from one of those gaps between the parked cars. I had no choice but to apply the brakes and try to avoid hitting that 30 something lady. But you know about the drum brakes, you need to apply the brakes almost 10 meters before if you want to stop the bike where you want. I just couldn't avoid the collision, I ended up hitting my bike to that lady and my bike fell on the road.

I had invariably shouted 'Aunteeeee ...' before colliding my bike, just to get her attention.

I guess she was around 30, wearing a flashy salwar kameez, well built.

Me shouting 'Aunteeeee ...', bike making a screeching sound before kissing the ground, a thin guy with an 'Iron Maiden' T-Shirt and a lady who got hit by that bike. More than enough for getting the attention of all people nearby. The shop keepers, pedestrians, and some fellow bikers all gathered around the scene.

There was me, holding my helmet in one hand, not knowing what to do, wondering what will happen next. I noticed that she wasn't hurt, but there might be a small bruise or something on her leg.

I started thinking, this is going to be the most embarrassing/ may be painful moment in my life. Have you ever observed, in these kind of situations how time goes so slowly? Every seconds seems like an year, and you just stand there, stranded .

I was expecting a tight slap on my cheek, or some sarcastic advice on how to ride a bike. Any thing was possible.

I looked at her. I could see her face changing from shock, then to scared, then to normal and then there was pure hatred.

She stared at me, looking deep in to my eyes. Then she said, something which I had never imagined, before leaving the scene of crime ...

She said, 'DON'T call me Aunty'.

Ehh.